Saturday, December 17, 2005

Nixon's Bane, Jack Anderson, Leaves Us Bereft


By Elaine Meinel Supkis

A rare breed like Robert Parry, real reporters, real investigators, Jack Anderson was the bane of more than one President. We owe a lot to him and wish more reporters could emulate his incorrigable investigative determination.

From Yahoo:
Jack Anderson, the Pulitzer Prize-winning muckraking columnist who struck fear into the hearts of corrupt or secretive politicians, inspiring Nixon operatives to plot his murder, died Saturday. He was 83.

Anderson died at his home in Bethesda, Md., of complications from Parkinson's disease, said one of his daughters, Laurie Anderson-Bruch.

Anderson gave up his syndicated Washington Merry-Go-Round column at age 81 in July 2004, after Parkinson's disease left him too ill to continue. He had been hired by the column's founder, Drew Pearson, in 1947.
Nixon hated Anderson as well as many others (hehe, nyaaaa, Nixon!) and we have the joy of having audio tapes of all the cheezy things Nixon plotted in the Oval Office. Wish we still had that system but nooooo.

Alas. So we can only speculate which is wrong. I believe the Oval Office should be bugged at all times and spies working for us covering the President all the time so we can figure out what they are doing, none of this secrecy stuff! After all, these creeps spy on us!

Anyhow, at one point, Nixon wanted to spike a drink with LSD. He figured this would drive Anderson to suicide or insanity. He never tried this on, say, me! Rats! Geeze, you know, the CIA had real honest to god LSD. That stuff is awesome. It isn't like the later production stuff, it really goes straight to the Id in the Brain and blooie. You get to see yourself from the inside and outside all at once and the world is illuminated with a brilliance, the main thing is, you can remember stuff. Timothy Leary, for example, once had access to real LSD.

Ahem. Heh.

Well, I suspect even Nixon knew that spiking Tim's beer with LSD would be really dumb. "Wow. Awesome beer!" Heck, if we knew back then that Nixon was in the habit of handing out real LSD tablets, we would have voted for him. And asked him to our parties. Heck, he might even had scored a chick or two if he only knew the potent power of offering them LSD!

Being an idiot, he wanted to give it to Anderson who had zero interest in enjoying communion with the cosmos or talking to chipmunks at dawn in a park.

This sort of waste always irritates me. Like Anderson, the FBI was watching me and giving me a hard time. My phone was tapped, my car bugged, I guess. Bet they wired the bedroom. Whoooeee. Wouldn't put that past them. After all, they were all men. And I was active. Very.

All long ago, no longer quite so today and besides, I am too creaky for LSD and I doubt Bush uses that. We do know that irritating reporters got anthrax letters that were traced back to a top secret military base used by the CIA. And of course, the person who sent the letters was never *cough* found *cough* but this is only because we don't have any tapes of what is going on in the White House, do we?

Rest in peace, Jack. You were a bright beacon in our lives. You looked under the bed and in the closet and you even found out about Reagan's Iran/Contra stuff just like Parry. Too bad you didn't understand that Reagan was a traitor who worked for Tokyo. Oh well. Everyone sort of gave up, didn't they? This is why Parry was fired and Anderson was pretty much shunted aside.

Well, may his spirit live on in us! Us bloggers, at least!

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